Deciding that you want a divorce is a process that likely took you a great deal of time. Now that you have made that decision, you have to let your spouse know. The conversation will likely be intense and could be rather challenging.
As you plan this conversation, there are a few things that you’ll have to consider. These tips may help you figure out how to effectively share the news that you want a divorce.
Choose an appropriate time and place
It’s important to choose a moment when both you and your spouse are calm and unlikely to be interrupted. It’s never appropriate to have this conversation if you’re heading to a big event or going through an unusually high-stress situation. The setting should be private and comfortable.
Prepare for the conversation
Before initiating the conversation, take some time to reflect on your feelings and the reasons behind your decision. It may help to write down your thoughts to organize them clearly. Preparing mentally and emotionally can help you approach the conversation with a clearer purpose and reduce the likelihood of it being driven by temporary emotions.
Communicate clearly and honestly
Keep your points concise and avoid trying to blame them for the problems. Using “I” statements can help with this because they focus on what you feel. Honesty is important, but remember that how you say things matters. You don’t want to attack them or seem rude.
Be prepared for their reaction
Your spouse’s reaction may vary widely, from shock and denial to anger or relief if they’ve felt the same way. Be prepared for a variety of emotions and find ways to remain calm no matter what. Remember, this news can be life-changing, and they may need time to process it.
Divorce is a highly complex process. Understanding your rights and responsibilities is critical so you can start your new life off on the best footing possible. As such, it can be helpful to seek legal guidance, either before announcing your intention to file or right away afterwards.