Divorce is challenging for all couples, and for those with minor children, it can get even more complex. If you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse are struggling with custody issues, one possible option is bird-nest custody
This is an out-of-the-box custody arrangement that can only be reached by an agreement between the divorcing parents. No judge will order this option, but the majority will sign off on parental agreements supporting this form of custody.
How does it work?
Bird’s nest custody works by allowing the kids to remain full-time in the family home, in their own rooms and beds, while the parents shuffle in and out instead. It is usually the least disruptive of all the options the kids of divorcing parents face for the following reasons:
- Fewer changes for them to absorb
- Allows for continuity of care
- There are no fraught custody exchanges
Could this shared custody solution work for you?
It’s more expensive than traditional 2-home parenting
One reason why bird’s-nest parenting is an option more for high-earner divorcing couples is that it’s typically more expensive. The parents will usually be supporting (or at least contributing to) three households: the family home for the kids and homes or apartments for the two adults.
People struggling to make ends meet might not have the money or resources to explore this option fully, unlike those coming out of marriages where both parties were high earners.
Other objections to bird-nesting
Both spouses must be able to respect each other’s boundaries, and the parents must be able to maintain a civil relationship. Another problem that crops up is what happens when either spouse moves on with another relationship.
Few couples want to share living space (even at different times) with someone they view as their replacement. These couples may even want to return to court to amend their custody orders.