The holiday season can be challenging for a lot of reasons — but divorced or divorcing co-parents experience a whole new level of difficulty each year.
Soon, co-parents all over California will be going through the motions of holiday co-parenting. If you’re feeling overwhelmed at the prospect, the following tips can help you sort things out.
Be willing to compromise with your co-parent
Allowing your ex to have the kids for Hanukkah if you can keep them through Christmas and New Year’s is how some couples of mixed faith deal with the winter holidays. Couples of any religion can come up with their own trade-offs to make sure that the kids enjoy the holiday season.
If you wind up without them this year in exchange for other concessions, make sure to arrange alternate holiday plans. Book that flight home now or jet off to an exotic destination with some single friends.
You can’t buy love (and shouldn’t try)
Blowing your budget filling over-the-top gift lists is not the way to go. It sets you up in an endless competition that’s impossible to win with your co-parent. Rather than worrying about spending the most on gifts, focus instead on having moments and making memories with your kids. Sometimes, it really is the little things.
Keep everything civil for the kids
Yes, you may loathe your ex for being a lousy spouse, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t mean the world to the kids. If you can’t speak civilly to one another, you can use special parenting apps to exchange messages that are focused on the children only.
Avoid moving the kids around too much
Nothing says “child of divorce” like spending the big day staring at the back of your parents’ front car seats. Whatever their holiday plans, make sure the kids don’t spend half of it in transit from one parent’s home to the other’s.
Stuck with a nonviable custody agreement? Learn more about how to modify your holiday custody schedule before the problems escalate.