In marriages where one partner is particularly controlling, the other spouse may feel trapped, anxious and/or intimidated by the prospect of seeking freedom. Thankfully, there are ways to navigate the divorce process safely and effectively, even when faced with a controlling and/or abusive spouse.
A controlling spouse may attempt to dominate various aspects of the relationship, such as finances, social interactions and decision-making. They may exhibit behaviors like monitoring phone calls, restricting access to bank accounts and using emotional manipulation to maintain control. Oftentimes, these actions are designed to isolate their partner and create a dependency that discourages leaving. Recognizing these behaviors as part of an unhealthy, potentially abusive dynamic is the first step toward planning a safe exit.
Seeking guidance, and doing so safely
Consulting with an experienced legal team is important for anyone considering a divorce from a controlling spouse. If you’re leaving your spouse, seeking specific guidance tailored to your situation can help you understand your rights and the steps you need to take to protect yourself.
For instance, if your spouse controls the household finances, your legal team can assist you in locating and securing financial records that will be important during your divorce proceedings. They can also help you establish a plan to secure assets and finances so that you aren’t left financially vulnerable. If applicable, they can also help you to protect your kids, whom your spouse also likely seeks to control.
As your marriage is ending, safeguarding your personal safety and privacy is of the greatest importance. Creating a safe communication plan with your legal team – such as using a secure phone or email account that your spouse does not have access to – can help you to protect sensitive information, and yourself. Additionally, if you feel threatened or at risk, you may want to consider filing for a restraining order or seeking other protective measures through the courts.
Every divorce scenario is unique. By seeking personalized support when leaving your controlling spouse, you can take control of your future more effectively.