SERVING SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA’S HIGH-ASSET DIVORCE NEEDS

The advantages of keeping former in-laws in your kids’ lives

On Behalf of | Oct 23, 2024 | Family Law

If you’re going to be divorcing, you may be only too happy to see a lot less of your spouse’s family in the future if your relationship was never particularly good or became strained as your marriage faltered. However, if you have children, your soon-to-be former in-laws likely will always be part of your life to some extent. 

If your children are particularly close to one or more of their grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins on the other side of the family, it’s generally best for them if you can help them maintain those relationships. In fact, they can be a much-needed source of stability and comfort to them during the divorce. Often, it’s easier for kids to talk with another family member than with a parent about any number of things.

Your co-parent will probably be the main conduit between your children and their family. However, there may be times when it makes sense for you to ensure that they’re invited to a school event or birthday party. If a child’s aunt or uncle has tickets to a concert or game on one of “your” weekends and wants to invite your kids, it can be a nice gesture to let them go. This may also incentivize your co-parent to be more welcoming to such requests from your side of the family.

Where to draw the line – if necessary

Certainly, if any of these former in-laws use their time with your children to speak negatively about you, that’s an issue you should address with your co-parent immediately. The same is true if they’re doing things with your kids that you don’t think are safe or healthy. It’s important, however, to keep your own negative feelings about these people out of your decision-making (as hard as that may be) and focus on what’s best for your children.

It can be smart to include some provisions in your parenting plan that deal with both sides of the family to help ensure that you have the same expectations. This can help your children to continue to get all the benefits a family can offer.

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